SHEcorporated One Step Empire

The secret power of your personal style.

April 26, 2023 Kristy Carruthers Season 4 Episode 4
SHEcorporated One Step Empire
The secret power of your personal style.
Show Notes Transcript

When you walk into a client meeting or join the video call, what message are you silently sending? 


Are you coming off as confident and experienced? The go-to expert? Or maybe fun, creative, reliable? 


You can say all of those things, sure. But have you thought about how what you are wearing is transmitting visual messages and whether that's helping you convey the right message, or is working against you and making it harder to get your point across?


And how is your outfit affecting how you feel? 


Is it creating the energy in yourself that you want to create or is it dragging you down? 


Too often we dress on default, without thinking through how we can use our wardrobe to help those around us better understand the message that we're trying to convey.


Patty is with us today to help us decode our wardrobe, and give us some very actionable steps to put to use to reboot our personal style, and get our clothing working for us, instead of against us. She even has a free mini course to help us figure out exactly what our own personal style could be. 


So are you ready to start looking and feeling your best and using your wardrobe to your business's best advantage? 


Then let's get into it.


Resources from Patty: 

Free Mini Course:  https://www.bustyourstylerut.com/
Social Media:
www.linkedin.com/in/pattybuccellato 
www.facebook.com/refinedimages/ 



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Patty video1872875489: Patty Buchla is a style reboot coach who's helped hundreds of women leaders and business owners to discover a personal style that suits their body, psyche, and circumstances. She busts fashion myths, gives wardrobe hacks, and teaches how to identify the style that changes success trajectories.

Hi Patty. Thank you so much for being with us today. I'm so excited about this conversation. Oh, I am so thrilled to be here, Christie. Delighted. Oh, so I gave a little bit of a very, very short introduction on what it is that you do, but there's so much more to that and, and you've got a great backstory. So can you just give us a little bit of a, a sense of your journey to where you are now and what it is that you're.

For sure. My journey has been one of what we could call a full circle where what I once upon a time [00:02:00] did as a young person on the side as, as a hobby, not even a paid hobby. So I can't even call it like a side gig. It wasn't even a gig. has become what I do for a living and. And really it began, I, I was the one I was a fashion merchandising major when I was in college.

And I had my dorm mates were the ones that I was, the one that they would come to when they were getting ready to go out on the weekends, whether it was date or, you know, go into the bar, whatever. It's like, Patty, what should I wear? Help me out, come to my closet. And And, you know, I, I had a, my, my early career I worked for a fashion retailer in the advertising and marketing department, which led to kind of what I consider a default career in advertising.

And I can remember one time early on, I, I sat down at, at my, my tiny little. Dining table in my tiny little apartment, and I, and I wrote out this, this a picture in words of what the service would look like that I would [00:03:00] provide to women and go into their homes and work in their closets and, and help them find, really isolate the wardrobe that would support their goals and their lifestyle and, and who they really were.

And I thought, Gosh, this just, this is just something fun I would do. And a couple of decades later I found my way to doing that and. and my work. Mm-hmm. and what's, what's really fun about it is that I'd forgotten about making that list. And I was, I was cleaning out boxes of, of papers in, in my basement at home one day many years ago.

And I came across the yellow legal pad that had the notes and the description of the service I was going to provide. And I went, Oh my gosh, this is what I do. This is what I'm doing. That's amazing what I do. So when they say to put your goals in writing , even if you don't remember doing so, there's value in that.

There really is. I'm, I'm [00:04:00] living proof. Wow. So that, So that's how you know you're doing what you, you're meant to do too, right? You're doing something you're passionate about when it goes that far back. Yeah. Yeah. It really does go far. Well, I'm not gonna say how many years, but I won't ask. We're gonna date ourselves on that one.

So, so now you go and you help clients, you know, revamp their closets, figure out, what their personal style is. What does that look like? So when, when I'm working with my clients one-on-one, it really is a, a joyful discovery experience because whether they come to me because they're in the running for a new position in their career or where they're starting out on an entirely new path and, and they don't know how to, you know, what that looks like?

Or, or maybe it's just, you know, I have, I have some that come to me who just simply say, You know what? I didn't get the style gene and I don't know how to do this . And, and so what we do is [00:05:00] really, really dig into who they are, what their goals are, what is their lifestyle? Who, who are they? And, and how do they wanna show up in the world?

And tying that in with their. Personal architecture of their body, shape and texture and color, all the personal design elements that they can harmonize with to, to really show up in a powerful and authentic way. So, yeah, that's what we do. We plan a wardrobe and we talk about how to shop and you know, it's a lot of, I, I just had a client say to me the other day, I had no idea that trying on clothes could be so much fun.

Well, that's good. It should be fun, right? It should be fun. But really not everyone has had that experience. Yeah. I'm in that camp. So let's talk about why, why this is important. How does a, a woman founder's clothing style make a difference in her business and in her bank account? Like, why does it matter what we wear as entrepreneurs?[00:06:00] 

Yeah. Well, it, it really begins with, first of all, are you doing business with other humans? Because if you are, then how we show up visually matters, and it matters in a profound way because it is literally the first piece of the convers. Before we open our mouths in between the words that we speak, it's, it's, you know, what are we seeing?

And, and that really goes back to our cave band roots, right? Like how, how we knew whether we were safe in the world. We were always scoping out our environment and, and what is around me. And that's not, that's still within us. You know, like what do I see and how do I interpret? What I see, and it is in an alignment with how I'm thinking and what I expect to see and hear, and, and so there's, there's really a lot of, a lot of strength in, in the vibe that [00:07:00] we give with our visual appearance and how true that.

Comes through to, to what we do and, and our verbal message. Does it support, it, Does it, does it really? Is there is there harmony there? So, so that there can be credibility and believability. Yeah, absolutely. Because it can help us or hurt us, right? We could be baking our job just that much more difficult depending on how we're showing up and what that's saying.

That's exactly, I love that. So I've heard you say that, that silent dressing is an effective strategy that women can use to project an on brand message. So what is what Silent dressing? So silent dressing shows up in a couple of different ways, but I'll say in a nutshell. That it allows you to come forth in, in wholeness and with the style as a supporting role rather [00:08:00] than stealing the show.

And, and that can happen both figuratively and literally. So in a very literal sense silent dressing means your. Avoiding the jangly bracelet or the rustling fabrics. Distract your audience's attention, and your audience can be one person, or it can be a room full of people, or if you're on stage, hundreds or thousands of people.

But when, when we're in person face to face, one on one, some of those things are overlooked because we have the support of. Personal energy that that exchanges between two people and we have our nonverbal communications supporting us. And, and some of those things take a, a lower value. But, but now, you know, a lot of, like right now, you and I are on camera and, and so if I had that jangly bracelet, it's taking away from my verbal message.[00:09:00] 

So that's in a very literal sense, but figuratively, silent dressing can be can, taking into account loud colors and prints excess in accessories or makeup, the kinds of things that pull our attention. And we may enjoy that in our social lives. If we wanna make a a fun statement or in some careers that can be an appropriate message, but in many others it can detract because our eyes are really focused on, on that outstanding visual element.

And then for a moment, we're not hearing what you say. it really it can work to our detriment, but when we're aware, we can take charge in that area and choose how it works for us or against us. Right. And maybe, if you have a standout signature, whatever it happens to be, does it help if we, we just have just that one, You know, we, we tone it [00:10:00] down so you don't want five.

Exciting colors or accessories or whatever it happens to be if you've got a signature bright purple lipstick. Okay. But that's it. ? Yes. Yes. You've got it Christie. That is it. Make that one, one signature statement and, and let everything else fall to the background. Mm-hmm. . Right. Really good point. You mentioned with Zoom, cause this is something that's become, I think we all thought it was going to go away.

When everything went back to normal, but everyone became so much more comfortable. I know one of my businesses you know, it was always, I'd never met with anyone over Zoom. It was always in person meetings. And then we got used to meeting on Zoom and now nobody wants an in person meeting because it's just so much easier and quicker.

There's no travel time, you know, it's, we're just used to it. So I, it's, I think it's going to continue it indefinitely and, and perhaps even become a bigger part of our lives. So, You have some, some good pointers on why you just can't wear your street wear or what you would've normally worn into a meeting necessarily to assume there's some different rules for this, [00:11:00] right?

Yes. Yes. And, and one of them, what's, what's. Paramount is, so this is one exception to, you know, like the founder's rule of thinking big and playing big, right? Here's where we do wanna think small, just for a moment, , because we've got this much smaller framework from within which people see us. And, and so it really is to our advantage to, you know, to, to like really zoom in.

I didn't mean to say zoom , but it works really, you know, drill down to that smaller frame and, and be mindful of, okay, what's showing? Because it's very easy and I've, and I've seen this, it, it's, it's common sense, but I've seen so many women make this mistake that they put on their favorite outfit or their favorite necklace, something that they love and, you know, we don't see it.

It's off. [00:12:00] Right. And we see that there's a chain there and the eye like, kind of follows it. Like, we wanna see what's at the end of the chain and we don't get to because it's off screen. So it's really to our advantage to, you know, like drill down, what's the neckline look like, what's visible. And in that smaller visual range, that smaller window.

And, and there's a couple, a couple tips that I like to share. and one of them is make sure you know what others are seeing in that smaller frame and do a dry run, like before you start your day or if you have an important web call do a little you know, I'm on a Mac, so you know, I use QuickTime and I'll just open up that application and see what the screen view is.

And do I need to adjust? Do I need to adjust the length, the necklace or the angle of the camera because. We tend to pay a lot of attention. We were taught early on as we started using, you know, web as much as we did, you know, pay attention to the background. And [00:13:00] I think in many cases we've kind of forgotten about the foreground.

You know, like, what, what, what's, what are we, what are we showing? So, kind of, you know, do that little, little test first to see if, if that's how you want it to appear. Number two, I, I like to encourage people to speak the same language as their listener, because that's the one that they're going to understand.

And so if you know that you're meeting with someone who, who is more conservative or they're from a field that is more tightened up, then you wanna be mindful that you know, when they see you, they can understand. That's not the time to be really cutting edge in your appearance because again, it's that distraction factor and they might be trying to figure you out and as they're doing that, they're not listening to what you're saying.

I think that's a great way to describe that because there's that, that push and pull where [00:14:00] people are like, But I am who I am and this is my business and it's a reflection of me. You, they're, they're trying to understand you. You wanna make it easy for them to understand you, and you don't have to change who you are or your, your entire style necessarily, but lean towards more what you expect them to be familiar with and comfortable with.

Right. Yes. Yes. And, and you bring up an important point, Christie, about striking that balance because we do, we're expressing our brand and everything that we do say, Right. You know, it's showing up at every turn. So you wanna be true to that. Mm-hmm. And, and also doing so in such a way that others can, can relate to us and understand.

So, so there's, there's just a matter of being mindful there. And the third thing that I, I would like to say is to and I'm speaking to, to ladies here, so always wear your pearls. And that doesn't, you know, we don't always, all of us have a, a classic style where we're [00:15:00] literally gonna wear a string of pearls, but the pearls that I'm talking about are the natural ones.

Our teeth and the smile is so powerful in, in others really feeling. Connected to us as human beings, that that smile is the universal language. And it shows a level of openness and receptivity and, and willingness to, to really, you know, meet on, on common ground. And For some, some of us who maybe don't, don't, that doesn't come as easy.

I think that's another place where, you know, opening the camera in you're, when you're on your own time and just kinda, you know, see like where, where can I bring that in? A little more inappropriate ways and inappropriate conversations, but it really does bridge gaps and connected. And that's, and such a great tip as far as opening up a, a, a video [00:16:00] screen on your computer or logging into Zoom and doing it quick to do that dry run.

I do that as well. Before I get on, if I'm not on the Zoom call first, if I'm going on someone else's, platform, I will do one of my own first just to make sure and the number of times. I've, you know, I thought that my shirt was great and then I got on camera and realized that when you could only see this much of it, for some reason it looked like pajamas.

You know, you can't see the whole outfit. It didn't make sense anymore. Not exactly what you were aiming for. No, I had, I have this shirt, and it looks great when you see the whole shirt, but the way the stripes go, when you see the top ones, it looks like pajamas. I'm like, well, I know it's not pajamas, but no one else does, so this has to go.

So I think that's a great tip. We should all, we should all lean into that as well. Now, if this is too much and everyone's, you know, if somebody's out there listening, going, Okay, I don't know if I can do this. What about the little black dress and the accessories? Is this, is this still a go-to, or you've got some ideas on this?

So the little black dress is something that I think is, is misleading. And it, and it's something that we've been taught in the fashion [00:17:00] world that, you know, that's something that belongs in every woman's closet. And you know, what belongs in every woman's closet are the pieces that relate to her and, and who she is, Her own natural architecture.

 . And for some women, that little black dress is brown. Or blue or, you know, or something else. But, but we can have a basic set when we understand our own body type and our own color undertones. It can be very simple to select the basic pieces that can be the go-to or the easy I'll even venture to call it a.

Right. That can be be because I, I love, you know, the way that you talk Christie about you know, massive success and simple steps and, and those are the simple ways of doing it. Isolate those pieces that really flatter you and let those be the go-to [00:18:00] and, and important not only in how others see it, but how we feel ourselves, that we really show up in, in confidence.

There's a body of work called Enclothed cognition, and, and, and it's a science that has shown that what we wear can influence our own psychological processing based on what we believe about that clothing. so it's something to really consider as, as you get dressed, do you feel confident?

Do you feel that you're in your, your full strength and power? Do, do you, you know, if you're pulling and tugging at something because it doesn't fit quite right, even if you're not on, on camera or face to face, the other person might not see that, but you know that you're. And, and, and you know that you're not feeling, you know, 100% on firing on all cylinders.

So, so what can you do about that to make sure that you feel your absolute best? So should we keep, [00:19:00] you know, a couple of, a couple of like those basic outfits? In our, in our wardrobe. Kind of the go-to that, those days when either you don't have time or you don't have the mental capacity to make one more decision and you just need to grab something.

Is that the secret? You know, and that's the truth cuz that founder as founders, there are days where it's like, no, not another decision. Which, first of all, that age old advice of, laying out your clothes the night before or taking some time on Sunday. And, we plan so much as business owners and we're strategizing and we're thinking about, what we're gonna do here, there, and, and every place else.

And sometimes overlook, our dress, which again, that's the first thing that's seeing. So it is worth putting a little energy into that. And it could be, carving out an hour of time on the weekend to, to put it all together and be ready. So it doesn't require any thought during the week.

But yes, to your question, having a couple of key pieces and I wanna say jackets a couple of. [00:20:00] Really great jackets that can be go to, and it, and it's simple. You can either put a dress underneath or a shell and a pair of bottoms, whatever those are, skirt, pan or whatever. But there's, there's something that comes through in a, in a jacket that, that just can, you know.

I'll encourage listeners to, to do a little test run with that and see how that, that enlo cognition effect comes through. Like, how you feel when you have a jacket on versus when you have a blouse and a pair of hats. Does it feel different? Yeah. And really take note of that and, and practice what makes you feel absolute.

Yes. I love that. And I, you know, I'd never considered doing, I, I always put my clothes out the night before just because I just don't have the capacity in the morning to think about it. It just needs to be there. But to do it on like the Sunday, just like you do meal prepping or whatever else you do to, to put your week together, that's a great idea.

And then, you know, you have all of the things are clean and nothing's of the dry cleaners and everything [00:21:00] there. So you're not scrambling first thing in the morning trying to find, you know, tights or whatever it is that you're looking for. Not that I've ever done that. No, no, no, no, no. Nor have I a personal experience what you're talking about,

But yeah. Cause you know, and, and women founders are wearing so many hats and especially, you know, I, my heart goes out to working moms, right? There's so much that you're juggling and And that uninterrupted time, if there is such a thing on the weekend, can be nice. Less interrupted. Yeah, less interrupted.

It's kind of like less stressed. We can't, I mean, stress free isn't, isn't realistic, but how do we minimize And there's one way. Yeah. Very nice. So, You know, it, it sounds a bit dramatic maybe, but for, for those that are out there looking at their closet and saying, Okay, I don't even know this is, this is, this is from a previous, you know, lifetime, this is from a previous career.

This just isn't me. I don't like any [00:22:00] of it. Is there ever a time when we just, you know, we press the, the auto, the destr button, we go back to ground zero and we just build a wardrobe from scratch. You just described that scenario perfectly. When you, when you walk in there and, and, and you know, what I've seen is women will have a closet filled with clothing that was someone else's fashion.

Or, or the advice of a clerk in the store based on what's hot this season and it, and it didn't really relate to, to who they were or who they are. That then, that's the other thing, like, you know, 20 years ago, that's who I was. But I'm different now. and, and I've changed. The world has changed. You know, sometimes what, what I'm seeing now is, is I'm working with women who have found that their pre pandemic wardrobe doesn't relate to their post [00:23:00] pandemic body.

You know, not just their, their work style or lifestyle, but, you know, it's, it's a different game. But, but when there's not, A strategy. To what's in there. And, and when we walk in and we see you know, independent outfits that don't work with or, or play with one another and and it, and it just feels like, you know, it's, it's been kind of mishmash half hazard.

That's the time really to take a step back and say, do these things. Reflect who I am and do I have choices? Because the best case scenario is that you open those closet doors and you see only things in there that you love and would like to wear. Mm. And you know, I, I, I know a lot of other women have this as well.

I have three different sizes in my closet, and, and the smallest ones are like the hopeful [00:24:00] someday these old bit again. And I did, And it sucks your energy when you walk in there and you see these things that you can't wear and does that about yourself. And, and I finally did a call through my closet because I realized these clothes that I was hanging onto by the time they fit me, if they ever fit me again, and they probably won't because they're from, you know, Two children in a lifetime ago.

They're not in step anymore anyway. They're so d. Yeah, what am I? Why am I making myself feel bad by looking at them every day when I look, when I walk into my closet? Let yourself. Off the hook. Right. Honestly, I need to do more valuable closet real estate for one thing. Right? Yeah. And, and when you, you know, so when you got it out of there, how did it feel, Christie?

Well, I know that the, the shelves felt better. , , you actually prompted me to do it one night when I was sleeping. There was so many clothes in there, and. It actually pulled the, the rack right outta the wall with the weight of it. And I went back in and I, I looked at what was in there and I was like, I maybe have like 10 [00:25:00] outfits in here that I actually wear, that I actually, you know, fit and I enjoy, What is the rest of this in here?

It's ridiculous. Yeah. So, yeah, it was good. I need to get rid of more, but it was good to get rid of that and just stop looking at it every. Yeah. And, and that's, it's pretty true for most women, that most women are wearing 20% of their clothing 80% of the time, and statistically it's, it's been shown that we have about $500 worth of waste in our closets.

Yeah. Just stuff that's sitting there. Yeah. And you know, it can be very freeing, very liberating to, to, to get the excess out and make room energetically and physically for what really flats and what really feels good. And allows us to feel, you know, joyful in our, in our clothing. Yeah. I love that.

It's great advice. So what's, have you got one final tip that our listeners can use to be seen as the go-to expert in their. . You know, I, I wanna [00:26:00] say that it is consistency in self and brand projection. Mm-hmm. , that how you show up is always demonstrating the same level of care and attention to detail and, and And representing who we are authentically.

And when that is consistent, then you know, I know who you are. I can see anything that you've put out online or in social media or your website, and I can, and I can say, Oh, I recognize her and I know what she stands for. Mm-hmm. . And you know, you've obviously been an entrepreneur for, for some time now.

We're not gonna say how long, but sometime No, we're not. No, we're not . So you, you've learned a few things along the way. So can you share with us, you know, your best tip, the best bit of advice that you got or that something you learned along the way that would help newer women entrepreneurs? You know, I, I [00:27:00] am a real proponent.

Really isolating your gifts and talents and being true to those, doing what you love. Cuz cuz I did it the other way initially when I was young, I, I, you know, I did it, I did it the other way and, and I, I've experienced the difference it can make to really be in a place where you, you feel true to yourself.

And that expresses in those that you, in the scenarios where you're working with others, it comes through the, the passion, the joy, the excitement, the interest and enthusiasm in what you're doing. So whatever, whatever it takes to do that inventory and, and find a way to bring it into, even if your, your entire business isn't built around it, how do you bring it in?

Yes. I love that. Yes. And that's what keeps you going, isn't it? Because I don't care what you, what industry you're in or what platform you're on, or what it is that you do is going to get hard probably [00:28:00] multiple times. But if you love it and you're passionate about it, you will. You'll make it through.

You'll keep going. Yes. Yes. We'll find the work arounds. We'll, we'll find the wherewithal. We'll find whatever it is we need. Yeah. Yeah. Agreed. Agreed. Now you have, I'm so excited about this. You have a free mini course for us. Can you tell us a little bit? I do, it is my mini course. Bust Your Style Rut. And what it does, it is, it is the failproof formula to identifying those, those elements that dress your body type with ease.

So it. So, kind of what we talked about a little earlier, knowing your own unique architecture this mini course takes you on the, the path of identifying the, the first levels of that and to be able to understand what your body type is and what are the clothing pieces that relate to that and, and really flatter you.

So I'm very excited [00:29:00] to be able to offer that and. And that is found at bust your style rut.com. Oh, I love it. So we're gonna link that in the show notes as well. I'm gonna do this because I'm at the point now where I'm, I'm, I'm thinking Steve Jobs had the right idea where he had the uniform of like the navy t-shirt and jeans, and then he never had to.

Never to think about it. Just every recording you throw on one of your 30 Navy shirts and jeans and you're good to go. That's where I am right now. So I need to do your, your mini course for sure. So we're gonna put that on the show notes. If you are on a platform where you can't see the show notes, you can always go over to one step empire.com.

And we will have the link there for Patty's site. We'll have the link there for the free mini course, and we'll have all the good things. So thank you so much for being with us today, Patty. You had honestly, so much value here and I think it's something that so many of us put on default. We don't put enough time and thought into and there's so many reasons we really need to be, to help move our businesses forward as [00:30:00] well.

So thank you so much for being here. I really appreciate it. Oh, my pleasure, Christie. My pleasure. Thank you.