SHEcorporated One Step Empire

Mentors can change your life & business - but how do you find one?

November 16, 2022 Kristy Carruthers Season 3 Episode 25
SHEcorporated One Step Empire
Mentors can change your life & business - but how do you find one?
Show Notes Transcript

Who needs a mentor?  


You do.  That’s right YOU!


No matter what stage you are at in your business – there is someone out there that can teach you, guide you, challenge you and give you fresh perspective.


A mentor can change the trajectory of your career, your business, and your life.  And what kind of mentor you need is dependent on where you are emotionally, as well as within your business.


There is a lot of information out there right now on building your business, but one topic that is really lacking is the power of mentorship, what type of mentor you need, how you can find the right mentor, and how to get the most out of that relationship.  


So we’re on a mission to bring that to you today.


Chantal has worked with hundreds of mentor/mentee relationships, and she has some really fabulous insights into how YOU can build this critical relationship, that will change your life, and business, for the better.


If you don’t have a mentor yet, you need one, and if you do have a mentor, Chantal has some of the best tips I have ever heard on how to maximize that relationship, to create maximum benefit for both of you.


If you are ready to level up – this is exactly where you need to be!



Chantal's Social Media Links 

https://www.linkedin.com/in/chantalbrine/ and https://www.linkedin.com/company/youenpoint/

Enpoint Blog posts: https://www.getenpoint.com


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Kristy: Chantel Brian is a builder of people and businesses as a founder and CEO of on point Chantel and her team help clients create and maintain effective mentorship programs as sought after speaker She often talks about the importance of living an authentic life and on the impact of mentorship in advancing one's career

Hi, Chantel, I love that we get to talk about this topic today. Thank you so much for being here with. 

Chantal: Thank you Christy for the opportunity to talk about something that is near and dear to my heart at the core of our business here at all point. And, and so deeply personal as mentorship actually is I'm excited to dive in and, and kind of talk a little bit about what it is, why it's important and who it's important too.

But just for a little bit of context, maybe I can share why actually it is that we've focused so much on mentorship as because of my own journey. That's helpful. 

Kristy: [00:02:00] Sure please. And we're gonna talk about, you know, how to find a mentor, relationships, imposter syndrome, all of that stuff. And I, what I love about this is that people often you hear it all the time.

Well, get a mentor, you need a mentor, find a mentor, but very rarely does it go deeper than that. You know, what kind of mentor do you need? How do you find them? So I'm super excited that we get to walk through this. So, so tell us a little bit. How you got to where you are now founder of a mentoring platform and helping people put these programs together.

Chantal: Like many people you know, I was at the time so fast or reverse back to 20 20 13, 20 14. And I was in a company that was not mine. I was doing work that some of it I liked.

Others of it was quite soul sucking. And I was starting at the end of 2014 to, to find myself going, okay, I landed in this. It was a, it's a great opportunity. I'm learning lots, but it's not really where I see myself in the future. It's not [00:03:00] really me. You know, I wasn't necessarily aligned with the values of the leadership team and where the company was going.

So all of this starts to bubble up Christie as it does. I think for many people at some point in career, I was very fortunate though, that I was introduced at that time to an individual who would become my very first, what I would call and label as a mentor who saw in me what I couldn't. In myself at that time.

And it started very slowly because it's a new, it is a stranger, right. I didn't know this person from anybody. So why would I trust him? Why would I actually have conversations with him about my feelings? Because it was a person in the organization that had power and influence. Right? So all of that was an interesting circumstance to start to build a mentor, mentee, relat.

I did not call it that for the first six months that myself and this individual truly just started to get to know each other, but it very quickly evolved into that where it got to a place in our [00:04:00] relationship that I knew that he was invested in me and that wasn't attached to any specific outcome. So it didn't matter that if what actually was true for me and what was best for me was leaving that particular company, cuz it wasn't about the company and.

Amount of trust and freedom and believing that in the core was transformative to me leaving that company, deciding to take a risk. I was gonna, you know, study a job well paying to go join a company that was trying to figure out a new business line. And I was gonna be the one doing that. So I couldn't even use the term entrepreneur at that point yet, cuz that was a foreign concept.

But that's what the starting point was. And then two years or a year and a half after joining that company doing market exploration for about a year and a half actually came to a concrete sense of Nope. There actually is a business here in the problem that we were trying to solve at the time. And [00:05:00] I'm actually really passionate about it.

Oh, my gosh, I'm crazy enough to wanna start a business and it was because though of that mentor, he, he was with me for that period of time up until when we started on point in 2018 very much actively supporting me, challenging me to think big and to grow through the confidence blocks that I was having and all that pro foster syndrome that happens as well as broadening my.

By using his network. So very, very thankful for that relationship because it was transformative. And that was an eye opener in terms of the power of what one relationship can do for one person with that one person then does it for somebody else and then somebody else, and the ripple effects that come from that, that was why we decided it on Frank Christie to focus on me.

As a vehicle to promote the [00:06:00] most transformative career change for individuals at on point, we have a big mission. I wanna be able to support 1 million people in building meaningful careers, doing stuff that they love. It's really hard to do that on your own. I lived that part myself. I had the benefit of having a mentor to.

You do not need to go it alone just as entrepreneurs. We do not need to go entrepreneurship alone. So mentorship became the vehicle that we said, you know, what? If we can help people build transformative relationships, one at a time, build their confidence, their connections and their skills. They're gonna be better off for it, and then they're gonna do it for somebody else.

So that's exactly what we do now at on point, working with employers post-secondary institutions and not for profits is helping them create meaningful mentorship programs that support their employees, their community members for their students build and grow meaningful careers. Using mentorship. Can you tell, I love the topic 

Kristy: you're not passionate about it at [00:07:00] all, 

Chantal: right?

Yeah. It's a really hard one to talk about Christie. 

Kristy: clearly, clearly. Now let's step back for just a second, because something you said there, when you were describing your relationship with him, kind of flip to switch for me and, and I think everyone has their own. Understanding of what a mentor is and something you mentioned there as far as the fact that he was invested in your outcome, irrespective of your outcome with the company.

And I think that's probably a key part of this, but you'll have a better definition I'm sure than I do. How, how would you define what a 

Chantal: mentor is? Hundred percent. And this is something we get into when we work with our client organizations doing mentor mentee training, because you're right. Christy, everybody does have a different definition.

And that definition is almost always informed by their own experience with mentorship. And let's face it. Sometimes it's not great. Right? sometimes it's amazing. And other times we work with individuals who they've never, they would never use that. But when I tell them what it feels like and what it [00:08:00] is, and the most common view of the word in the sense they go, oh yes, they just have never used the label.

Right. Mm-hmm so a couple of the core things. When we think about mentorship, it is a mutually beneficial, committed relationship, meaning it happens over a period of time, not a transaction. That is intended to support both the professional and personal development of somebody who just happens to be more junior in a certain area of expertise, interest, confidence, or competence by somebody who's just got more road rash in that particular thing.

And so the often the thing we hear often, Christy is a sense of like, well, a mentor needs to be somebody who's done that exact same thing as me over and over and over again. And we typically think of somebody who has many more years in the industry or in business than what we do. It's like that's an outdated definition or version of mentorship.[00:09:00] 

Sure. In some cases, depending on what you're looking to do through mentorship, it may be that you need somebody who has depth in a particular industry or a particular domain. But one of the other big areas that we see mentorship really being under utilized is actually the confidence building piece.

Right? So learning how to build great relationships and build rapport. You don't need somebody. Who's got 10 years in an industry to do that. You actually need somebody who loves building relationships, who cares about people who knows how to build good, meaningful relationships over a period of time.

That person is not always the person who has 10, 15 years in industry or a domain. They're not the same person. We need different mentors at different stages for different things, because not one person can do it. All right. Right. 

Kristy: Right. And that, I feel like I know the answer to this question, but I'm gonna ask it anyway.

Who needs a mentor? 

Chantal: yes, you do [00:10:00] a hundred percent. It is everybody, everyone we all do. Right. And at all stages, like I think the minute we think we can't learn anything through mentorship, we we've been very detrimental to our, not just our career, but the quality of our life period. Right. The world around us has evolved very much in the last two and a half years.

It was evolving before that it will continue to evolve and it's gonna evolve quicker because of the rate that we can deploy technology, look at all the social movements that have happened also in the last two and a half years. That means we should always be challenging what we think we know. Even where we do know some things, we can't know it all, which means that we should always be seeking to learn and apply that learning to our life and our career.

What better way to do that than by talking with and learning from somebody else's lived experiences [00:11:00] over a period of time where you get to have real conversations, Christie and get deep. And apply things to your life. That makes sense to even if it's just knowledge, there's power in that knowledge. And, and it's something that we all we all need.

I, I would argue, I think actually in the last two and a half years, that's become even more apparent that we all have a lot to learn from each other intentionally. 

Kristy: Yeah. You talked about having, the different stages. Let's, let's dig into that a little bit. The different kinds of mentors you need at different stages.

I guess, how do we know what stage we're at? How do we know who we need? Let's start there maybe. 

Chantal: Awesome question. And this is one of those things too. It sometimes like it's, it depends. Well, of course it depends. Mm-hmm because where are you in your particular, where are you in your career journey also?

Where are you in your knowledge of self? One of the most, I think foundational of applications of mentorship is just explor. So we don't have a specific agenda or a specific target [00:12:00] other than I wanna gain clarity on a particular thing that could be clarity around what I'm interested in pursuing in a career.

Could be clarity on what sector, industry, or application I'm interested in pursuing in creating a business. It could be something related to a soft skill or a foundational skill such as building great relationship skills. So that foundational exploration mentorship is actually a great vehicle for that because of what we were just talking about Christy, and that a mentor is not set on a particular outcome.

Like a good mentor is a guide, not a direct. They don't talk. And should they talk in sharing their lived experiences to help you understand what actions you might need to take? What, what things do you might need to reflect on? So that's kind of like at that, like the bottom of the period pyramid, if you will, right.

And then you can build from there. From when I think about it from an entrepreneurial journey perspective, I look at mentors from a couple different lense. The people who helped me [00:13:00] get to a place of having the confidence and, and the courage when the confidence wasn't there. to still start on point, I spoke about that mentor.

He and I are now still very great friends. And I still learn from him. Right. But that relationship was for a very period of time, very intense, very helpful. And we've now transitioned into a different kind of relationship. That is really pivotal. You need those mentors, they are the ones that they're gonna be.

Your cheerleaders, your ambassadors, they open up their network for you to help you explore and make connections to build your MVP or get your initial kind of business idea out in marketplace litmus. Test it a little bit and provide feedback to you on your blind spots. So what are you missing as you're going about thinking about being an entrepreneur, those hard truths.

That's what you need in that person. Right. And it's much more so Christy, as you mentioned, it's about you at that stage, not the business mm-hmm so like, as you're figuring out and exploring what is the business I wanna do, or what's the way that I wanna grow this business, or [00:14:00] what's the niche I wanna focus in, in my business, all of that can be what happens for the entrepreneur, but that mentor is actually invested in what's the best life for the entrepreneur or the mentee, as an example, as the business kind of grows.

And as you grow in. Doesn't mean that we don't all still have shakes of of course we do. Right. I think if we're not facing things that challenge us and challenge our confidence, we might not be dreaming big enough. Right. Which is also why mentors are great. So the people that can support you when you're in the thick of it.

So like your past, you know, initial startup stages, you you've got revenue coming in, you've got paying customers and you're now trying to figure out what's the next like needle. I need to move to really grow this thing and get to success. Whatever my, that definition of success is for you. Then I think somebody who can still help and they're still centered on you, but the perspective there's a different value of lived experience of entrepreneurship.

Because they know the journey, they know the [00:15:00] rollercoaster, they know that the highs are really high , the lows are really low. Right. So that they've got that lived experience, that they can help you navigate the emotional rollercoaster. And you may actually have a different person who helps you navigate the industry or the subject matter.

Or like if you're raising financing, I would not confuse those two people. Business coaches, funders, like accelerators can do a lot of the technical components. Some of them do and can support the underneath. Right? So those that do have mentorship as a component of them can support that confidence building piece and the courage building piece and the self development that has to happen in order for the business to actually grow.

We need to grow with it. so that's why it's so important. Mentorship, Christy that it's both personal and professional develop. Because you can't have the professional, if you're not willing to actually grow personally. Right. And then the third mentorship that I think is really important for entrepreneurship for entrepreneurs is pure.

Like you [00:16:00] need people who are on the same ride as you at a similar stage. Who can understand where you are and balancing that with some people in the room that are maybe two years ahead or X stage ahead so that you really can learn from and grow with others at that peer to peer level. I, myself, as part of two peer groups, one is for female founders and tech.

The other is for entrepreneurs. It's a regional program and we've got folks from all different industries, all different stages. They're both valuable for different reasons. Peer mentorship, I think is also sometimes. Undervalued and are maybe not sought as readily, but that's something female entrepreneurs actually do really well.

We've got a number of initiatives and communities like she coopered where people are willing to help. You actually just need to put the hand up. 

Kristy: Right. and that's, I think where we struggle a lot of the time and, this is something that I really honestly with [00:17:00] one of my companies that started 10 years ago and I.

I just did it alone. I just didn't really look to network. I didn't really look to grow a community, but you hit a point where you just, you need that community. You need those peers and you need to build that network. And as you said, your business can only grow as much as you do, right.

There's, there's all sorts of work to do what I, what I love about when you're talking about the, the, the base stage of this, as far as determining where you are personally and professionally, and which type of mentor you need, regardless of moving beyond that and finding that mentor, the work you do at that stage is transformational.

Just that self-awareness. 

Chantal: Hundred percent. Right. Cause nobody can take it away from you. When we start, you know, having these conversations, we do work with a couple a couple of our clients specifically focus around supporting women.

Right. And it could be female leadership. It could be women in a particular sector that we're still underrepresented. And so we have a lot of these conversations around.[00:18:00] You will get as much out of it as you put into it. And that requires vulnerability right from the start. But the gains you will make in terms of understanding who you are and what mental obstacles you put in your own way.

Nobody can take that away from you no matter where you go with it, no matter if you, you pursue entrepreneurship where you don't or you do for a while, and then you leave it for a while, that whole concept of imposter syndrome and never feeling like I, I deserve to be there, or I should be this, or how, how dare I think about doing this, that foundational level as you just picked up on like, to.

That's the one that starts to chip away at that and build a solid foundation, just to continue to build that muscle that I am enough. I do deserve to be here. I don't need to know it all. And there's no such thing as perfect. 

Kristy: And, and you're gonna get different, sides of that from your different communities, from your mentor is going to give you one angle on that and your.

Community of women founders, for example, is gonna give you another. And we actually had some mentoring groups with [00:19:00] women from all different industries coming together and we would share a problem. And then everyone would, would pitch in on ideas. On how to solve that problem and what the problem even was to start with, because sometimes we, we're not even looking at the right problem and you need some outside perspective.

And what I loved about those groups, the very value of it was that everyone was from different industries. So somebody who's really big on, you know operations side would look at this problem and say, you know, you think it's a marketing problem. I don't think it's a marketing problem. I think you really need to this differently.

And it was a completely different perspective that no one had considered. And there's so much value in that, that you really, you're not gonna get outside that peer group. And as a big old introvert, honestly, I'm the last person to go, you know? Yeah. Ooh, big groups of people, but it's so incredibly.

Chantal: A hundred percent. And I think Christy too, for some of your audience who are, are like me, who are solo founders. Mm. Even more critical. even more critical. You need the sounding board[00:20:00] that your team can't do that for you. Right. And your family can't do that for you. They don't wanna do that for you. I mean, in some cases, maybe, right.

But you know, the, what you get in that from different perspectives from people who know those trenches, the same way you do, particularly as that person who like, if you are a mighty team of one. You, you need people around you to, for the, for the value of the knowledge, but also for the value of we're all gonna fall down.

We all can use the help to get back 

Kristy: up. And women founders, as you said are so, so good at that support piece too. I mean, the, what goes on in these communities is just, I love to see it. I love to see it. So, so we've done the foundational work. We've we've thought about where we are emotionally where we are in our lives, where we are in our business.

We've determined what type of mentoring we, we think we want, how do we go about finding a mentor? Because that's the big question people are [00:21:00] like, okay, I know I need a mentor. Where do I find one 

Chantal: a hundred percent. And, and thank goodness we have tools like LinkedIn, And, and we have online communities like corporated.

I could name a number specifically for female entrepreneurs just off the dome because there are a number. And that, for me, if I particularly, I think if somebody is, let's say. An introvert, they're not somebody who has a big network outside of maybe family and friends and a few close professional colleagues.

Absolutely. You still wanna top those professional colleagues in terms of saying, you know, I'm looking for a mentor, I'm exploring mentorship to help me with this or this. You don't even need to be super specific, but just to plant the seed and ask, even those, let's say it's three to five people asking those three to five people.

Can you mull it over and, and is there anybody in your network or in your company or in your industry or in something that you've come across that [00:22:00] you think might be a fit don't need you to do the matchmaking, but that you think might be something that I could have a look at their profile or describe them to me.

And just to see if there is somebody. That's not too hard of an ask. Cause you already know them. They know you, that's the benefit of that, right? 

Kristy: That's a great way to ask too, because I think a a lot of women, specifically women are, I don't know.

How do you even ask somebody that? So even if that's the person you're interested in becoming your mentor by not asking them directly and asking if they know anyone, it plans the seed. I love. 

Chantal: A hundred percent. I Christy I am big on leveraging existing relationships, at all levels. Because we don't have to build our careers and our companies alone.

We do have to ask for the help though. We use the analogy often when we're working with mentees in particular of, you know, envision, if you will, that you've got a target for where you want to grow in your career and why you're using mentorship. If you're the only one that knows the bullseye and you're the one with the [00:23:00] arrow, but you let somebody turn your body before you make the shot.

What's the point? Isn't it better to actually have the target, to understand some of the outer rungs. You don't need to know the bullseye, but you're gonna, aim is true. And your aim being true means I'm gonna align with somebody who's gonna help me figure out what that bullseye is. It, it is very much that concept of you just need to give, as we said, plant the seeds and then ask for, and then here's the kicker.

We've actually gotta act on it though. Right. So that's where the best of intentions are not enough. We then need to reach out to those suggested people and, or ask our colleagues to make the referral and the connection to soft introduction. Nobody's committed to anything in those first couple of conversations.

And let's say, for example, Christy, like if there's nobody, no nothing comes from that. There's no, nobody that comes back that is a, seems like a good match [00:24:00] or, or that you get excited. Well, then that's where I would turn to a peer group that was in my community or in my industry. Cause it could be completely virtual.

If you're somebody that's comfortable with that kind of relationship. If you're somebody that prefers the in person, then clearly looking within your local region or community is gonna be really important, but there's options for both and finding what is one channel start with one that I could do some research in and identify a couple people whose.

Resonates with me, who I seem to find alignment with their values, or maybe I like there's a respect there or an admiration or of, oh my gosh. I would love to do what they're doing. That kind of reaction and build out a list of five to 10. Yeah. Start with five. Again, those, those reach outs at the worst that happens.

Somebody says, no, I'm not interested. Or they actually just don't get back to you. We can't take that personally. We all know how busy people are. That's why you have a list of. [00:25:00] And the reach out is very it's again, still a soft reach out of, you know, I found you in this community, I really admire your work in this particular area for these five things or these three things.

And I'm trying to figure out what I wanna do next or whatever the sentence is. And I'm wondering if you would give me, you know, 20 minutes to have an introductory conversation, no commitment other than that, but I just would, could you start there and, and you would be surprised you have a list of 10 and at least three say.

That's all you need to get the ball rolling. And then, then you just repeat until you find that connection that you go, okay, this feels, this feels right in terms of it aligns with what I think I want out of mentorship. I wanna have a next conversation that, cause that's all the goal is just to, to the first, get the, get to that actual intro meeting.

Do the thing reflect on it. Ask for the second. And then you just take it step by step in, in unstructured, informal relationships, right? Mm-hmm I'd be remiss if I didn't mention, there are also like [00:26:00] many structured mentor relationships programs out there specifically for female entrepreneurs. They differ again by community, but that is also another easy place to go find what's in your industry, your region, your province whatever.

Have you, and put your name forward as a mentee or as a mentor or both depending on where you are

Kristy: A lot of local women in business. Type organizations. I know we have one locally that has a mentoring program as well. That's fantastic because they're already there.

They're looking for mentees. So it's a super easy ask. And I'd like one of the things you mentioned there that I think we so often, when we're thinking about looking for somebody who's ahead of us in our industry and could be a mentor we we're just looking at their resume.

Right. We're looking at what they've done, what they've accomplished, but. Going back to your original framework of figuring out what type of mentor you need. So looking at that person as not only where are they in the industry, Have they accomplished what I wanted to accomplish, but do their values align with mine, [00:27:00] how they got there, it doesn't do you any good to be following in someone's footsteps who is gonna work, 24 hours a day and maybe doesn't have the ethics that you have, and you're not gonna wanna do it the way they did it anyway.

So that's a really important piece, I think, to consider that most of us don't. 

Chantal: I think that's a really important underscore there, Christy like that. And that's mentorship is so personal because of that. Right. And it just, within that conversation, you know, one of the things that we get asked often is like, well, what if it doesn't work?

So like, I, we do this thing or I get matched with somebody in a structured program and it, I'm not, not feeling it just yet. We've helped clients create about three, five different mentorship programs. Anywhere between 50 to 500 people in each of those programs, I can count on one hand, the amount of times that a match truly was a bad match.

And often what happens is that initial reaction of like, this doesn't feel right. Can come from a place of just [00:28:00] discomfort because somebody is doing what we ask them to do and providing feedback about my blind spots about things that I'm, I'm really vulnerable about. So it feels gross right now. There are some of us that, that are, they love that stuff and it doesn't feel gross, but for most of us, there's a bit of like, it's uncomfortable, right.

But that's growth. It is uncomfortable. So most of the time. Relationships when they're properly calibrated in terms of I'm clear what I want. I've been, I've articulated what I want with the person that I'm gonna engage in this kind of relationship with we've set expectations in terms of what does this actually mean?

What does success look like for us individually as a pair, we've set some type of guideline or loose framework of how much time are we willing to give to each other in this like transparency in those things goes a long. Because then I've always got my compass to come back to you. If at some point down the road, something starts to go off or it feels wonky because then I just look back and say, okay, well, has my target shifted?[00:29:00] 

If my target hasn't shifted, have our principles of engagement or the rules that we agreed by, which we would do this together changed. Yes, no. And if, no, then there's a conversation to be had of, Hey, this isn't feeling like we're moving. Like what we've said we were wanting to do. Can we just have an open conversation about.

Right. So it almost, there's always an opportunity to learn from. There's always an opportunity to learn from mentorship. Even those that may not go as swimmingly as what we might think. Sticking actually through the messy middle is where some of the best gems can come from sometimes. But that place of not just like, I would encourage people not to give up too quickly, if it doesn't feel like, cause if you're not grooving right away, respect that we all come to relationships with our own.

Right. It takes time to build trust and credibility in a relationship, which is again, when we talk about mentorship, we do talk about it in that sense. So recognize that it may not, it may take a couple conversations and a couple reflection points after for you to actually feel like you're in a [00:30:00] groove and challenge.

If your gut reaction is Ugh or meh, challenge yourself and ask yourself, why am I having that reaction? Go back to all those things I just mentioned, and then give yourself the benefit of the doubt and move forward from an informed decision that could your gut's still part of that informed decision. I would just encourage people not to react to the stimulus, rather understand what's the underlying cause.

You know what I mean? 

Kristy: Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Step back and see, what's really going on there and let's talk a little bit more about that as far as, so, so let's say we found the mentor now, how do we build that relationship?

How do we, really make the most of it and, and make sure that that lasts as long as, it needs to, 

Chantal: It's one of my favorite things to talk about with folks, because, you know, we, we can get into a whole host of things. But they all come to this like foundational. Prepare yourself and together, whatever that looks like, [00:31:00] participate, like show up even in the uncomfort, even in the feedback, even in the unknowing.

It's great. Mentorship should challenge you in some way, shape or form ask. Great questions. Listen, truly listen. Practicing curiosity, having an open mind is such a hard thing sometimes for us to do, particularly when we're so passionate about something. Right. But that is so critical to really being able to get transformed change out of, of a me mentorship relationship.

The progressing comes from continuing those things. Thanks. the preparation is not just before we engage, it is all the way throughout. So after you have a great conversation or maybe just a okay. Convers. As a mentee and a mentor reflect what worked, what didn't, what did I learn? What do I wanna do differently next time?

What actions are coming out of this that I actually wanna contemplate? Or what things might I wanna pursue or explore [00:32:00] further? And then share those things ahead and then your next meeting. So it's that preparation of self to be mindfully ready for it and actions to, to back that up and then as you're working together.

So that's where that transparency comes in Christie, right? And that progression comes from preparing consistently and constantly throughout the relationship participating throughout the relationship. So even when it might get a little hard or communicating, even when you know what life's gone, a little squirrely on me, I can't commit to what we originally had.

Can we recalibrate, I can still meet this amount or I can still have these kinds of conversations, but I might need to pause for a little bit that participation and open communication as you're in the relationship goes a long way to being able to see those transformative changes. We also have to ask for feedback along the way, how am I coming off in our meetings?

What have you seen me grow or improve in? Have you noticed any changes in my behavior or in our conversations or the things that I'm bringing [00:33:00] to you as we've evolved also providing feedback to mentors and asking mentors for feedback? Like it's both parties because that's a mutual benefit piece, right?

Both parties can learn if it's intentional, particularly I think important for entrepreneurs, Christie, those of us. And we all do. We have big dreams for our businesses, right? Celebrating the small wins along the way. cause those big dreams, they take time to manifest and hard work over a period of time.

And so let's say you're working with your mentor on some business goals and objectives. It's really important to celebrate in that relationship together, what you're learning and applying in the small wins. So that could be that you got a contract that you've been working on for like six months or two years.

It could be that you've opened the door into a new potential reseller or partnership that's taken you ages to get through the gatekeeper. It keeper. It could be simply that you're being more confident in your sales conversations or your meetings. So those [00:34:00] small win. Should actually relate to what you're looking to ultimately define and celebrate a success in that mentorship, but you don't get to the end, wait for it.

You have to recognize it along the way. And you continue to do that. So as you continue to put those things together, it truly is where that that's where the aha has come from. It never stops. It's a cycle and we get better at it over time. If we're intentional. But we're always going to be challenging and learning ourselves because that fact that is the hope.

It is an active reflection in mentorship that makes for the difference between a mindset and behaviors and true transformative change for both mentor and mentee, and one may be realized sooner than the other, but there are aha moments for both when it's intentional. 

Kristy: And you touched on that before, as well that is a mutually beneficial relationship.

And I think a lot of people go into it thinking it's an ask, it's all beneficial to the mentee. And it's one of [00:35:00] the things that makes it difficult to make the ask is because you think there's nothing in it for the mentor. But can we talk a little bit about that as far as what is in it for the mentor?

What, what does that relationship look like? So that they're both, they're both getting something out of. 

Chantal: You know, I've lived this myself, right. And I still live it to myself. But I do remember with my very, again, that, that mentor that I referenced you know, looking at him very often as we were meeting and, and, and he could see it before I said it, but what my face was saying, and then what the words would follow shortly was why are you spending time with me?

Why me and also, what are you getting out of this and profusely thanking him in the early days? And his response to me always was I learned too, what we later came to a sense of was I, I need feedback from you. Like I, like, I don't believe you just yet. What are you learning from me? and, and like, it was like, I laugh about it now.

And we laughed about it then. Right. Because [00:36:00] it was very tr it was, I needed to know that so that I could continue to, to go as deep as we were going in those conversations. And what surfaced was value from a lived experience that he doesn't have as a white, older man in industry. And you're. Oh, okay. So help me understand how that's actually valuable to you.

Cause as a feminist, I know the importance of that, but in your own words, what's the value of that? Well, he is a daughter. He wants to help and prepare his daughter for the world of work and have her be who she is, which is a strong, amazingly confident woman because of a lot of who he, he and how they've raised her.

But because he's very cognizant of that. And the minute that that became a framing for me, Christy and that very personal relationship, I knew it was something we needed to make sure that we were very intentional about when we're working with clients and setting. Mentorship programs [00:37:00] so that it doesn't always feel, or it doesn't feel too lopsided for mentees because then you don't, you can't actually get that transformative, deep stuff out of it because you're almost always, you don't wanna make the ask for more time where you don't wanna share as much, because there's a sense of, ah, like you're, I'm taking up time from something that you could be doing.

Elsewise. We have so many client organizations who run mentorship programs. Most they're volunteer mentors. What we hear from them over and over and over again. And what our clients hear directly from them is I do this because somebody did it for me, it's that simple at the, at the foundational level. But when we dive into actually helping mentors gain value from mentorship relationships, you know, a concept called reverse me.

It was pretty popular a couple years ago. It still comes up every now and again. And it's, it's typically framed in a way of somebody who's earlier stage in career who's tech [00:38:00] savvy, because they've just grown up with it with somebody who's a little bit later stage in career and maybe not as tech savvy or hasn't grown up with a density of technology that, that younger person has.

It's mentorship. So that is something that I can always teach somebody something, whether it's because I have more confidence competence and, or just expertise in a particular area different than what they have, or simply because my lived experience is not their lived experience. the opportunity for mentees to find what that thing is.

It's really simple. What would you like to get out of this? I understand, like you're willing to give me your time, whether it's somebody you reached out to, or in a structured program, how can we make this actually mutually beneficial for you? What's your definition of success? Because they may be trying to grow their coaching skills or their leadership skills, their listening skills they're interviewing or questioning skill set, or it may simply be, they just know that it's [00:39:00] important to do because somebody did it for them.

But actually surfacing that question and getting mentors to articulate that immensely powerful when you do it at the beginning of a relationship, because then we are working together to say, okay, are you learning in the ways that you wanted to mentor mentee? Are you learning in the ways? And if not, what do we need to change and how we're doing this?

So there's the mutual piece, right? Your problem, your problem solving together, not for one or the other. 

Kristy: And how amazing for you to then be able to, with your mentor, be able to, now that you know, that you know that piece and you know what he's getting from it, you can keep that top of mind and dig deeper into that for him as well.

So that he gets that value. I mean, that gives you the opportunity to give some value back to him that you wouldn't have otherwise have. So what a great point. So when you start that relationship to find out what the value is or what value, maybe they haven't really thought about it, maybe they haven't articulated it.

So have them think about it. How can they get the value out of it? I love that

Chantal: and, and sit in [00:40:00] what might be silence for a little bit that's okay. Right. Yeah. Learn together. Right. From the very beginning modeling the behavior goes a long way,

Kristy: So any other tips, as far as determining what kind of mentor you need, finding that mentor, building that relationship.

Anything else we should have on our radar as we're trying to put this together? 

Chantal: And I do wanna actually just add one more tactical thing. Just the power of LinkedIn. I referenced it earlier, but I didn't expand on it. We have at the, at our fingertips, a network of millions of people, it is super easy to go search.

By industry, by career title, by a whole host of things that you could be looking for in your mentorship. Mm-hmm and simply reaching out with a customized invitation or a message to connect. You never know what doors that could open. So you could be meeting with somebody who is time zones and lifetimes away because you can through LinkedIn, [00:41:00] right?

So like think big, think broad. People are there there's enough density of people who are willing to help that if you get a couple no's along the way, don't let it stop you until you get to that. Yes. Yeah. 

Kristy: And what's great about LinkedIn as well is if you do that, it's gonna automatically tell you who you're connected to.

That's connected to them and how closely you're linked. So you may pull somebody up and you had no idea that you have someone in between you, that's a first connection that you can actually reach out to and say, Hey, can you give me a little soft introduction to this person? So that's such a great tip.

Chantal: It's free monitoring the power of your network, right? that's right. No matter how big Christine, it doesn't matter how big it's not quantity. It's quality 

Kristy: back to the network. That darn network that gets us gotta have a network. All right. So I would love to hear, and it doesn't necessarily need to be about mentoring or it could be.

What is your best piece of advice for women who are just in the first few years of this entrepreneurial crazy journey? 

Chantal: It truly is to not do it alone. You know, [00:42:00] again, even solo founders, right? So I don't mean in terms that you have to have a co-founder or a founding team, we're all different in terms of how we wanna work and what kind of business you wanna build, but surrounding yourself with a couple core people beyond family and friends, Who understand the endeavor that you are going into and, or in who can help you through that rollercoaster, navigate through the pitfalls that you are inevitably going to fall in, help yourself, help get you dusted back off and just keep trudging along.

Whether it comes in the form of one to one mentorship, a more loosely just community group that you participate in ad hoc networking events, or a structured program. Find some vehicle. To get a couple people around you. You can pick up the phone and just say, I need to vent and they're going to get it.

Same people that when you get that rockstar deal, that [00:43:00] friends and family may not understand the significance of. That you can call and you're gonna celebrate the heck out of it with zero judgment. Like, it is really important for us as female entrepreneurs to have those people. Some of us have lots of those people, some have smaller networks, some could just be one, but it's again, not family and friends that are referring to Christie.

It it's somebody who knows the journey. Intimately they've lived. It they've been there. They've they, they understand it. . Right. Find whatever way you're comfortable to find that person, but just don't do it alone. Find your crew, find your cheerleader. Find people who are going to just help you keep putting one foot in front of the other and it will help you soar.

Kristy: The journey is so much better when you have those people, your team, your board of directors. I know people, it's funny when I say we do one of our trainings and I talk about building your team. And so many solo entrepreneurs are like, oh no, no, I can't afford help right now. And I'm like, that's not what we're talking about.

Everybody needs a [00:44:00] team. Whether that's your mentor, whether. Your community of women, whatever it is, those, cheerleaders, that board of directors. I agree with you a hundred percent there. That's so 

Chantal: important. And I love that you challenge people with that Christie, cuz that's a mindset thing, right?

I love that. 

Kristy: So you have got all sorts of fantastic resources that we're gonna talk about here. and also I'd love to know how everybody can get connected with you as well. So maybe tell us a little 

Chantal: bit about the resources. Awesome. Yes. So we are big fans here at on point at making sure that people can connect inspiration and good intention.

To action. Because we know that's where the real stuff happens. So if you go over to get on point CA and head to our blog, you will find a host of resources that we continue to populate. But we've got a couple in particular that might helpful for this audience. We've got a couple pieces around why mentorship actually matters.

So if you're not quite convinced yet that it could matter to you. We've got some real life stories there that are not just mine but people who've lived the [00:45:00] value of it themselves. We also have a piece of understanding the difference and the value of using multiple tools, such as mentorship, sponsorship, coaching.

In building a career in a business, we very much are of the opinion. It's not one. It is. You use all of the tools in the toolkit at different stages, depending on what makes sense for you, but use every single resource at your disposal to give you the best chance of success. So get on point.ca. Whole host of blogs there.

And we're always interested from folks, if there's a particular topic around mentorship that you would love to hear from I'm on LinkedIn, easy to find Sherine, there's a big, bright, colorful background that are actually dancers from my home country, which is Bermuda. So you can't miss me and shoot those ideas or.

I would love to connect with anybody who has their own mentorship story or a question about how you can use mentorship and so grateful Christ for the opportunity to, to connect with you and your audience of amazing female entrepreneurs. I 

Kristy: really appreciate you being here. This is a topic [00:46:00] that with all of the overload of information, there is out there for entrepreneurs and career advice and all the other things, there seems to be a bit of a vacuum around this particular topic, and it's such a critical topic for people.

So I really appreciate that. So we can go to the site. We can get some resources, give us the site again. It's get on point.ca. You got it. And it's E N not Christy for the on point . Thank 

Chantal: you for that. You would think by now that what was one of my lessons learned in building the brand really quick, though, just to give you some context for it.

So I danced for the entirety of, from I was three to 18 on point and the idea of when you learn to dance on point is you build the strength and the resilience to be able to rise and dance on the tip of your. I loved that. That was part of the feeling and the energy that I wanted to bring to on point.

So wanted to, to, to bring that and then made it very confusing from a branding perspective. So thank you, Christy. It is Ian P O I N T. 

Kristy: no problem. I wanna make sure everybody finds you. We're actually gonna put that link in our show notes as well. [00:47:00] So if you're driving and you don't have a pen or you just wanna go click, you can do that.

If you're on. Form where you can't see the show notes. Sometimes you can't, you can just head over to our podcast website as well. It's one step empire.com one step empire.com. And we've got the show. We've got the show notes. We've got all of the ways to connect with Chantel there as well. So you can find her and you can get those resources.

Well, thank you so much for, for being with us today, Chantel, I really do appreciate this. There's so much gold and I hope our listeners take away., I'm sure they will a ton of different. Action points that they're gonna start putting to use and really thinking about moving forward. So thank you for being here.

Chantal: Thank you so much. Christy happy mentori